Monday, April 9, 2012

I Used to be Scared

I used to be scared of technology in any kind, but not anymore. (I am helping to co-host a Social Media Week here at UK - for more details, check this out.)

I used to be scared of saying no to someone, and I still have trouble doing so sometimes, but I am getting better.

I used to be scared to merge onto the interstate, but now I am a merging queen.

I used to be scared of drive thru's at restaurants and banks, but now I just avoid them all together, so it's a wash.

I used to be scared of fat and calories, but now I embrace a little here and there in my diet.

I (wish I could say) used to be scared of spiders, but I am still terrified of them and am convinced that I will never get over this fear. And I am ok with this. Spiders and I don't have to be friends. Ever.

Similarly, I'm terrified that if I ever have the misfortune to have to go to the hospital and be knocked out for something, that I will wake up from anesthesia alone. I haven't told very many people this, so simply stating this fact is a step towards getting over another fear of sharing too much.

I used to be scared of getting lost, but that has happened so many times now that I have learned to just enjoy the (usually prolonged) journey. As the old adage goes, getting there is half the fun.

When I set out to write this blog post, I was like "ok, this topic is something new and different, not what I usually post," and thus thought that it would be a breeze. I've worked on this baby for over an hour now! I know right?! Not much to show for it, but sharing what scares you is hard. It's also invigorating and comfortingly uncomfortable. It reminds you that you are human, much like watching the evening news or your memories of 9/11 do - they humble you and remind you that you're NOT invincible, you're NOT perfect, and that it is perfectly ok. You have obviously made it this far without being perfect, and what scares you is part of what makes you you. I am perfectly fine with being the Katelyn that shreaks when she sees a spider, is uncomfortable with drive thru's, and still has to consciously and consistently encourage herself to say no.

What makes you you?

* I am still working on my Easter blog post - don't think I forgot! Tune in soon for more on glazed ham and Easter eggs.

** Thanks Graceful Fitness for the theme of this post.


  1. Great post. Really enjoyed reading it -- I always enjoy reading when people really spill themselves out and give us (the readers) an opportunity to get to know you. Even if it is digitally! And on the topic of things that humble you... AMEN to that of 9.11. Being from Jersey, every time I fly into Newark International and see the gaping hole where those glorious towers use to be, all of those emotions come flying back. Regardless, I think seeing the new structure of Freedom Tower arising from the skyline, that a new future is on the horizon, and proves that all wounds heal with time.

    Looking forward to the Easter post!

    1. Thank you so much, I am glad you enjoyed this post. I too like to read entries like these on other blogs I frequent, so I thought I would incorporate one of my own.

      I was in the fifth grade the 9/11 happened, so didn't quite understand what was going on. But as I have grown older and the severity of the situation has pressed itself on me, I am continuously humbled and eternally grateful to have been spared the pain that I know countless families suffered. I just watched "Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close" this past weekend (a heartbreakingly extraordinary movie about a child who loses his dad in 9/11) and have been shaken ever since - the way you should feel after seeing a movie so pure and honest. I highly recommend it.

  2. Great post Katie. I think it's really cathartic to write about your fears as you did. Sometimes writing truly does help, as cliched as that might sound. Also, I love how you used the term "comfortingly uncomfortable" to describe sharnig your fears. I don't believe I've ever heard that phrase before but what a wonderful phrase it is. Thank you so much for sharing.

    1. Thank you for all the positive feedback! I really liked that term too; it was fittingly confusing and accurate at the same time.